I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
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I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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