i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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