i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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