my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize