Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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