i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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