I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize