so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
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I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
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Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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