Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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