The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
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I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize