Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize