i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize