That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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