4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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