She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
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I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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