belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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