He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize