I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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