I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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