It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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