Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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