and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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