I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
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i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
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its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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