Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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