So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
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ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
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In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize