1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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