wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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