if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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