Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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