So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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