Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
pop tarts are not kleenex
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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