Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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