Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize