Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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