How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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