I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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