If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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