after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
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Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
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I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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