i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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