meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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