I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize