Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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