Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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