you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
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your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
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I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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