if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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