i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize