she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
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you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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