Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Boobs are out for the taking
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize