Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
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you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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