oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize